Emotionally Retired Class of 2000 Unisex T-Shirt
Emotionally Retired Class of 2000 Unisex T-Shirt
Size guide
| Size | Chest | Waist | Hips |
|---|---|---|---|
| XS | 32-34 | 24-26 | 34-36 |
| S | 34-36 | 26-28 | 36-38 |
| M | 36-38 | 28-30 | 38-40 |
| L | 38-40 | 30-32 | 40-42 |
| XL | 40-42 | 32-34 | 42-44 |
| 2XL | 42-44 | 34-36 | 44-46 |
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.50 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.60 | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 | 10.80 | 11.20 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
The jersey has been hung up. The cleats are in the back of the closet. After a long and distinguished career of giving too much, caring too deeply, and finishing last in the group project every single time, this athlete has officially retired from emotional competition. Class of 2000. No ceremony. No farewell tour. Just a quiet exit and a very firm list of events no longer being entered: other people's problems, unsolicited drama, group projects.
The "Emotionally Retired" tee borrows every visual cue of the vintage varsity tradition — stacked block lettering, distressed charcoal and muted gold, the worn texture of something genuinely earned — and redirects it toward the most legitimate retirement of the modern era. It has the look of a championship tee and the energy of someone who has absolutely, irrevocably, moved on. Equally at home at a reunion, a team offsite, or anywhere that has historically demanded more than it deserved.
For the millennial who peaked emotionally sometime around Y2K and has been coasting on reserves ever since. For the friend who left the group chat, the committee, and the drama, in that order. For anyone who has earned their retirement and is wearing the proof.
Product features
- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (lightweight 4.2 oz/yd²) for breathable all-day softness
- Retail crew-neck fit with ribbed knit collar and tapered shoulders for lasting shape
- Dual side seams for improved structure and a cleaner silhouette
- Tear-away label to minimise skin irritation; REACH certified materials; adult sizing
- DTG printing for bold varsity stacked typography, deep charcoal and muted gold palette, and authentic distressed athletic texture
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
- Non-chlorine bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dry clean
Warnings: For adults. Blank product sourced from Honduras.