Locating Nearest Exit Unisex T-Shirt
Locating Nearest Exit Unisex T-Shirt
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.50 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.60 | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 | 10.80 | 11.20 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
A clever vintage-inspired tee for introverts, socially drained professionals, and anyone who has ever mentally checked out mid-conversation. This parody emergency exit sign design features an illuminated exit symbol with arrows pointing everywhere at once, paired with the bold text “LOCATING NEAREST EXIT: FROM THIS CONVERSATION” and the subtext “Emergency procedure: already executed.”
With its retro green, black, and white palette and lightly distressed finish, this shirt blends dry humor with a clean graphic look that feels both nostalgic and painfully relatable. It is perfect for awkward small talk survivors, office workers, remote workers, overstimulated adults, and anyone whose instinct in a chaotic moment is to quietly find the nearest way out.
A great gift for introverts, coworkers, friends with sharp humor, and people who appreciate sarcasm served with clean design.
Product features
- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton for soft, lightweight comfort
- Retail unisex fit with a classic crew neckline for everyday wear
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape help maintain shape over time
- Side seams add structure and support a lasting fit
- Tear-away label helps reduce skin irritation
- Crisp DTG/DTF print finish for bold graphics and readable text
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold, max 30C or 90F
- Non-chlorine bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dry clean
Warnings, Hazard: For adults. Blank product sourced from Honduras.