Burnout Valley National Forest Unisex T-Shirt
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.50 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.60 | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 | 10.80 | 11.20 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Welcome to Burnout Valley National Forest — a protected wilderness zone, established whenever enough became too much, and dedicated to the preservation of whatever sanity remains. Admission is free. Visitors are encouraged to lie face down in a field of wildflowers and stay there until further notice. The Do Not Disturb sign is already staked. The border is closed.
Rendered in the earnest, authoritative style of a 1930s WPA park emblem — double-ring border, slab-serif block type, star-marked boundaries — this tee takes the full visual language of America's most beloved institutions and quietly, completely redirects it inward. It looks like it belongs on a ranger station wall. It belongs on anyone who's ever needed to declare their own protected reserve. A deeply giftable piece of sarcastic self-care for the overworked, the overstimulated, and the quietly heroic.
Product features
- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (lightweight 4.2 oz/yd²) for breathable all-day softness
- Retail crew-neck fit with ribbed knit collar and tapered shoulders for lasting shape
- Dual side seams for improved structure and a cleaner silhouette
- Tear-away label to minimise skin irritation; REACH certified materials; adult sizing
- DTG printing for fine emblem detail, vintage typography depth, and multi-tone badge shading
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
- Non-chlorine bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat
- Do not dry clean
Warnings: For adults. Blank product sourced from Honduras.